WHEN THE PAST WON'T GO AWAY

When we look back over some of the most painful moments of our lives, we get to feel so much pain  and regrets.
Almost everyone in life has a past and something in it, they wish they never did or should have done better. There is practically no such thing as a life without a regret. Regret is simply a way of thinking or feeling in which we blame ourselves for things that happened in the past but when we allow it to get too much into us without being productive, such as where no lesson is learnt and no change is made, it could lead to chronic stress which can also lead to serious health problems. It can be impossible to move on when painful emotions remain unaddressed and broken relationships stay unresolved. A lady blogger, Liz on www.alifeonyourterms, narrated her past life and how much she regrets and harbored the pain for so long. She said

" When I was twelve years old (almost thirteen), I let a sixteen/seventeen year old boy take my virginity.
When I was tired of this boy, I found another one who would pay attention to me, and I had sex with him as well.
These boys were almost always at least five to six years older than me, and I never knew them for more than a few days before giving them what they wanted.I did this for a year or two, until I was 14 and I found that having an eating disorder was just as destructive and didn’t require a second person. I felt like I was a slut, a whore. Other kids found out and I denied it of course but I knew the stories were true. I lived in a small town. I could only get away with secrecy for so long. It was a dark place for me, and for years and years I couldn’t bring myself to think about my actions without complete disgust and horror. The things that I did were appalling and so shameful, I wanted to hide from the world. I tortured myself with judgments and name calling. It was a very dark place inside of me for a very long time.
So I just sat in the dark with my head in my knees and curled up to protect myself from my own vicious attacks. Then, one day, I decided to get up and walk around. I felt my way around that dark place until I found light."

So many of us have different past experiences we regret and cannot even discuss with anyone, we keep wishing it never happened. Sometimes we feel life would have been better if we never made those mistakes.  Moving forward might seems really impossible right now when you consider so many thing but the fact remains that no one can help you move on. You must be ready to put the past behind so that you can be healed. Everyone you see around you have a thought sometimes about things they would have done better. You must leave the past behind to experience the fullness of life in the present and look forward to a great future. Paul the apostle in his epistle to the philippians in philippians chapter 3 verse 13 said " I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

This is a practical example of the fact that no one is clean and the best way to get the fullness of life is to forget those things that have happened and press on for the future achievements. Here are some tips to help you overcome the pains of your past experiences.

1.Accept your actions without excuses or blame on anyone
2. Choose to learn from your past mistakes and  grow over self condemnation, use the mistake as a teaching tool.
3. Understand that you would not have done what you did if you actually knew how deadly the consequences would be
4. See your being alive to realise your mistakes as an opportunity and use the opportunity to become better
5. Challenge your thoughts. Tell it you are no longer the old you, you are the new version set to make a difference.
6. Practice self forgiveness

Allow God into the situation and He will help you. God can help you start again.



photo credit: today.yougov.come
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